!Bolf

!Bolf Is Your Dignity's Friend

If you !bolf rather than golf, these kinds of things will never happen to you.

 

Prizes!

!Bolfers can win wonderful prizes in golf tournaments.

Here is my first tournament prize (of many to come) from a thoughtful New England group, which has lots of fabulous golfers in its ranks - 

 

Bolf prizes

Counsel:

 

1. Get one, just one, good shot. Everyone will be stunned into thinking of you as prize-worthy.

Recommend working on your putt. Way easier than smacking the ball over long distances.

2. Tell people right up front that you expect not to play by the rules of golf. That way, when you do something well according to the actual rules of actual golf, it will jump out. Like lipstick on a pig.

3. Ask for a prize. Like votes and running for office. You have to ask.

New !Bolf Rules, or Opportunities

Playing with people who actually golf gives rise to new !bolfing opportunities. Add these to your list:

1. The Rename. When playing in a golf tournament that requires your whole group to hit off each person's ball a minimum number of times (this means !bolfers shots, too), identify the best person in your group. Half way through the round, start calling the most talented golfer by your name. That way, when the scorekeeper asks whose ball the group just used, your name can be called out. And your box checked. Viola.

Best part - for the rest of the round, you get to hear people say "Nice shot [insert your name]!"  It happened to me. It can happen to you, too.

2. The Win-Win-Win. When someone in your group has a bad shot, and cares, give them your shot by calling out "[insert your name] Mulligan". Then, you get to go sit in the shade, the golfer who sucked and cares gets to hit again, and you're group doesn't slow anyone down. Win-win-win.

3. The Green Guinea Pig. Golfers seem to care about the green. How it slopes. Things like that. Because !bolfers don't, we can help others out by always putting first to let the golf people assess how our ball moves across the green. Since our point isn't about getting that ball in that hole, what's it to us to be the green guinea pig?

!Bolf evolves.

!Bolf Season 2010 Accessory Recommendation

The 2010 !Bolf Season is here.
This is the year to make !bolfers comfier than we were in '09.
First up: Comfy Seats.
On balance, !bolfers spend more time sitting in carts than golfers do. A hazard of the game. The Long Ride Carrying Ball play, plus the let-other-people-look-for-your-missing-ball thing means more time just, well, sitting.
Priority !bolf accessory: air circulating seat cushion. Cushiness with a built-in electric fan.
Remember to match the tone of your new seat cushion to your other accessories. Appearances are everything.

Up Next: Merriam-Webster's Annual New Word List

Today, the Urban Dictionary announced that it has officially recognized the word !bolf.
Not making this up.
See post below
What's next?
Merriam-Webster's Collegiate® Dictionary Annual New Word List.
Frenemy and vlog got in there; !bolf is as good as in.  

Official Declaration: !Bolf is a recognized word

Urban Dictionary: !Bolf

http://bolf.urbanup.com/4216326

Noun, pronounced bawlfAn elegant game combing features of the traditional game of golf and elements of bowling. In this 9 hole game, the !bolfer hit from the tee. The player can hit the ball again from the spot where it lands, or pick up the ball manually and toss it in an underhanded, bowling like motion to a better spot. For each hole, the player tallies the number of hits with the club and !bolf tosses.To move the game along, !bolfers can also take one Long Ride Carrying Ball (LRCB) per hole.Ultimately getting the ball in the hole with the club is not essential.!Bolfers must respect the rules of golf that make a difference for others on the course, such as yelling fore, taking care of the sand and all other golf courtesies.A point of !bolf is to thoroughly enjoy a few hours on the course without the performance pressure and occasional frustration caused by the more rigid rules of traditional golf.The exclamation point is used in front of the word to signal the extreme enthusiasm for the game by people who didn't previously golf.

Not "cheating"; !Bolf!

Perhaps the original !bolfer. Watch this.

Converts

A convert is in the making. My very own spouse. Who, heretofore, thought !bolfing was for people who had not previously taken up golf.  Not.
Here's the thing.
My spouse, I'll call him David to protect his privacy, played in a golf tournament yesterday rather than going to work. Nice. Nicer still because it was a spectacular day. Sunny, bright and cool enough to let you know your favorite sweater would be coming out any week now. Every time I stepped outside I thought of him out there. Lucky.   
8:32 p.m., enter David.
Grumpy. Long face. A sad look in his eyes.
He sucked. It was embarrassing. He says anyway. People had to hit off a couple of his shots, and those really sucked. The group had bought some Mulligans but they weren't enough.
(New !Bolf rule: !Bolfers never, ever buy a Mulligan. We state the need for one and own it.)
David gets distracted from the desperately bad play by talking about food. Never fails.  But it was only temporary.
3:15 a.m. David awakes.
Cannot fall back to sleep. "Anything particular on your mind?", I ask when he hands me my coffee at a reasonable time to wake up. "How bad I played", he says.
It's a game. Recreation. No work, all play.
Not sleepless nights and long faces.
As the game of !bolf mainstreams, leagues are formed and tournament organizers ask as a matter of course whether you will be golfing or !bolfing, betting people formerly known as golfers, like David, convert.
 

!Bolf Score Card

What is !bolf without a proper score card.
Here. No legal rights have been sought.
Copy. Share. !Bolf.

 

    !BOLF SCORE CARD

                 1        2        3       4         5      6       7        8       9

(Never, Ever Play More Than 9)

 

1. # of Golf Swings

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­2. # of Bolf Tosses

3. LRCB

4. In Hole?  (Y/N)

(never mandatory)

5. # of Good Swings

(always try....)

6. Was it Fun? (Y/N)

7. Get or Give Applause? (Y/N)

Add up your of Golf Swings and Bolf Tosses. Add a point for each LRCB. Subtract a point for every Yes. (Yes, you can shave up to 18 points off your score by having fun on each hole and giving a little applause to the person you are playing with.)

Remember the number of good swings for next time. Try to increase that number as the years go, but never count it. Good swings are not what we're all about.

 

!Bolf's Coming Out

Ok ok ok. It's official. !Bolf is here.

The growing interest in the game, and the volume of inquiries about the game, led me to go live.

Let's start with answers to the most frequently asked !bolf questions.

1. Whats !bolf?  !Bolf is a combination of golf and bowling. Hence, Bolf.

The wind-up

2. Whats the point? Gettin' out there. Not worryin'. Playin' for fun.

3. Why !bolf? Golf, in its traditional, old-fashioned form, is hard, strict and frustrating. It keeps away for no really godo reason lots of people who would enjoy the time outside on beautiful land and the challenge of moving a ball from here to there. The time it takes to get respectable at golf, played in the traditional way, keeps lotsa girls - and boys - from getting in on the golf thing, from the playing to the post golf lets-get-a-drink-thing. By adopting new rules - a new paradigm - a day on the golf course is fun. Right away. Promise.

4. Whats up with the exclamation point in front of the word bolf? The sheer excitement of not having to golf but getting to spend the day on the course tossing around a ball put the exclamation right out front. And thats where its staying.

5. Do you need anything to play !bolf other than golf stuff? No. In fact, !bolfers like to share !bolf clubs. A !bolfer needn't own her own stuff to get out there. How you hit in !bolf matters so much less than how you hit in golf, there is no basis for every single person to have to go buy clubs and stuff just to play. The point is to play. But you want to look good. Buy the shoes. Stuff like that. You want to blend in. When your !bolfing foursome rides past golfers, they shouldn't know which game you are playing just by looking at you. Spiff it up.

6. What are the rules of !bolf? The complete set of rules will be posted elsewhere, but in short its this. You hit the ball off the tee with the club. You don't worry lots about where the ball lands. If it goes to a good place, great. Hit it again from there. If it goes to a rediculous place, thats ok too. Its part of the game. If that happens, go get your ball if you want, or leave it. Whatever. Drive up the fairway some around to where you wish your ball had landed. From there, toss the ball. This is the Bowl part. Toss it a short way, or really try to get some distance. Pay attention to your form: look like a serious bowler out there. Golf or bowl as many times per hole as you like or need. Whatever. The number of times you !bolf and golf per hole will be tallied, but its not like one is better than the other. We're not that way.

In the midst of all this, start to learn and respect the rules of golf. If your ball lands in the sand trap, and you think it would be fun to try to hit it out, get in there but do rake up after yourself. !Bolfers respect the basic rules of golf that make a difference to others. We do not care in the least about the rules pertaining to things like how we go about getting our ball into the hole. That has no impact on others.   

Another part of !bolfing is the LRCB. That stands for Long Ride Carrying Ball. Here is when you use it. If its a really long hole, the kind where you can barely see the green from the tee, whack the ball once. Get in your cart, pick up your ball and put it in your pocket. If you need to bend really far to reach it, ask your cart-mate to hold your belt loops so you don't tumble out. !Bolfers care about appearances. Then, drive for as long as you like toward the green. At some point - its all up to you - hop out and !bolf the ball to where you might like to hit it from. Count the number of LRCBs per hole. Generally, one will do. Sometimes, none are needed. Whatever. The LRCB is really useful on days when the course is crowded. Moving along through the LRCB reduces anxiety intentionally inflicted by some fast, serious, uninteresting golfers.

In !bolf, don't get all preoccupied with getting ball in the teeny hole. Get to the green, take a few tries, and move on if you want. So, on the scorecard, keep track with a simple YES or NO as to whether you actually got the ball into the hole. With the club. (Sometimes, you like to hear the sound of the ball going into the hole. But you really want to move on.  Pick it up. Toss it in there, manually. Enjoy the sound.). Its all up to you how persistent you want to be about getting a YES.

!Bolfers also tally how many honest, actual good golf shots you have per hole. Why not?

Finally, !bolfers are wildly supportive of each other. Cheer and clap right out loud for anything at all another !bolfer does that looks pretty good. Its worth points, and everyone feels better than they did before the applause.