!Bolf

!Bolf Is Your Dignity's Friend

If you !bolf rather than golf, these kinds of things will never happen to you.

 

Prizes!

!Bolfers can win wonderful prizes in golf tournaments.

Here is my first tournament prize (of many to come) from a thoughtful New England group, which has lots of fabulous golfers in its ranks - 

 

Bolf prizes

Counsel:

 

1. Get one, just one, good shot. Everyone will be stunned into thinking of you as prize-worthy.

Recommend working on your putt. Way easier than smacking the ball over long distances.

2. Tell people right up front that you expect not to play by the rules of golf. That way, when you do something well according to the actual rules of actual golf, it will jump out. Like lipstick on a pig.

3. Ask for a prize. Like votes and running for office. You have to ask.

!Bolf Season 2010 Accessory Recommendation

The 2010 !Bolf Season is here.
This is the year to make !bolfers comfier than we were in '09.
First up: Comfy Seats.
On balance, !bolfers spend more time sitting in carts than golfers do. A hazard of the game. The Long Ride Carrying Ball play, plus the let-other-people-look-for-your-missing-ball thing means more time just, well, sitting.
Priority !bolf accessory: air circulating seat cushion. Cushiness with a built-in electric fan.
Remember to match the tone of your new seat cushion to your other accessories. Appearances are everything.

Converts

A convert is in the making. My very own spouse. Who, heretofore, thought !bolfing was for people who had not previously taken up golf.  Not.
Here's the thing.
My spouse, I'll call him David to protect his privacy, played in a golf tournament yesterday rather than going to work. Nice. Nicer still because it was a spectacular day. Sunny, bright and cool enough to let you know your favorite sweater would be coming out any week now. Every time I stepped outside I thought of him out there. Lucky.   
8:32 p.m., enter David.
Grumpy. Long face. A sad look in his eyes.
He sucked. It was embarrassing. He says anyway. People had to hit off a couple of his shots, and those really sucked. The group had bought some Mulligans but they weren't enough.
(New !Bolf rule: !Bolfers never, ever buy a Mulligan. We state the need for one and own it.)
David gets distracted from the desperately bad play by talking about food. Never fails.  But it was only temporary.
3:15 a.m. David awakes.
Cannot fall back to sleep. "Anything particular on your mind?", I ask when he hands me my coffee at a reasonable time to wake up. "How bad I played", he says.
It's a game. Recreation. No work, all play.
Not sleepless nights and long faces.
As the game of !bolf mainstreams, leagues are formed and tournament organizers ask as a matter of course whether you will be golfing or !bolfing, betting people formerly known as golfers, like David, convert.